Like the walls of Helm's Deep

The Enemy has infiltrated my mind.

I dunno why I'm feeling so crappy after NUS posted me to Nursing. I know I should be grateful to even get a place at NUS, and I can always be a Medical Expert in the SAF in the future (sounds really cool),

but i still feel damn sore about it.

I dont want to study nursing okay, I want to study Political Science at FASS. I want to study Comparative Politics, I want my questions I've been harbouring since J1 answered. 

I feel like life's laughing at me like i'm the butt of all it's jokes. "You're so inferior and you took this LONG to figure it out??"

I'm really pissed off at myself. Why didn't I study harder for A's so I wouldn't have to deal with this mess? I always said I wouldn't have it any other way. I guess I was lying to myself, trying to cover the regret. 

Thought i could do it without God's help eh, landed myself in this mess. 

Really regretful right now. =( Not to mention whining like a spoilt brat.

I don't even know if I'll be accepted into SMU Social Science or not.

Telling myself I'm stronger than this but tonight I'm not.